


Behind the Lies

by Ninjakitteneve



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 04:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjakitteneve/pseuds/Ninjakitteneve
Summary: Josh Is going though so issues following the ending on the first season and some episodes from the seconds (spoilers).





	1. It's going to be okay now.

**Author's Note:**

> (POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS)
> 
> ~I wrote this on Wattpad and moving it on here.
> 
> I am writing a second story kinda connected to this so be looking for that.
> 
> Hello this is my first story so please leave constructive criticism and not hate.
> 
> I love The West Wing very much and I always love the three episode that surround this story. 
> 
> Though I did feel like Josh moved on way to quickly considering what happened to him.
> 
> But anyways all right to the characters goes to the people who made them.
> 
> I just added what I wanted to the already amazing story.~
> 
> <3

"President Bartlet: What was that, Josh? I couldn't hear.

*Bartlet leans close to Josh's mouth and listens to him whisper. Then Bartlet straightens and strokes Josh's head.*

Leo: What did he say?

President Bartlet: He said, "What's next?""

(Josh's pov)

I remember being In that room...I remember the President stroking my head...I remember...I don't remember, I can't remember.

I was sitting on my bed trying to write down what happened, they told me it would help and since I wasn't allowed back to work yet I didn't have anything to distract me from what happened.

I was shot...the President was shot. We weren't the targets Charlie was. *Heavy sigh* Just because of his skin color and that he was dating the President's daughter, they tried to kill him.

"I give up!" I yelled to no one in particular. I need to talk to someone, anyone.

So I decided to call Leo I knew he was probably busy but I need to convince him to let me go back it's been two month. I'm fine, we'll physically I think.

So I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. It rang and rang and rang.

"Hello?" His secretary asked.

"Hey is Leo busy?" I replied

"Oh Josh, let me ask him if he can talk for a minute." She said in a pipper tone. I couldn't hear what was being said but I knew Leo didn't want to talk.

"I'll patch u through now."  
She replied after a few seconds.

"Hey Josh, how you feeling?" He asked.

"Hey, yeah I'm good, feeling fine, ready to get back to work." I was stumbling over my words again.*sigh*

"Josh." He sounded unsure. "I'm not buying it Josh, you need to rest, President's order." He added. I refuse to lose.

"Yeah, I know but come on Leo, I've been sitting around for the last two months you've got to let me come back. It's not fair the President was back in a week." I was starting to sound like a whiny child.

"Yeah and he's injuries weren't nearly as bad as yours Josh, he was up and walking before you even got out of surgery." He was right and he knew I knew it. "Josh." He was being cautious now. "You almost died."

I was silent there was nothing I could say, he was right and I was trying to accomplish an impossible goal.

"I know." Was all I managed to say.

"I'm sorry Josh, I'll stop by after work okay?" He said

"okay, just call before in case I'm asleep." I said, I felt like I was going to start crying, I didn't know why I just did.

There was no reply before he hung up. So I just sat there on the bed staring at the phone hoping someone would call me. After about thirty minutes I gave up with hoping.

I moved to the kitchen slowly, it still hurt some days and today was one of them. I opened the fridge to see that it was practically empty, it had never really been full considering I practically lived in my office. It had been filled with food that Donna bought after the accident, but the supply was running extremely low.

I wasn't able to find anything that took my interest, and the pain was making me less hungry by the minute. I couldn't take any more medicine for another few hours so I would just have to suffer until then.

So I decided to move back to my room and try to sleep. I was halfway down my hall when there was a knock at my door.

I stopped. No one ever came by without calling first.

I slowly walked to the door making no sounds. I looked through lenses on my door to see someone I wasn't expecting.


	2. What are you doing here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks love u

I automatically open the door as soon as I see who it was. Why was he here, I mean I appreciate it but why, doesn't he have something better to do.

I stand there leaning on the door for support, and continue to stare at the man in front of me.

"You going to invite me in?" He asks bringing me back to reality.

"Yeah, yeah come in." I slowly open the door trying not to hurt my already hurting body.

"I know your probably wondering why I'm here considering I didn't visit you when you were in the hospital." He said.

"Yeah, I don't mean to be rude Mr. Vice President but why are you here? Is everything alright?" I was starting to get concerned and the pain in me only grew.

I need to sit down quick. So I walked as slow as my body would let me then I sat down very uncomfortably on my couch.

"Josh are you alright? Was this a bad time?" He kneeled down in front of me looking at the spot where I had gotten shot and sighed.

"I'm fine, it's fine." I was lying and I was never good at it. He looked me straight in the eyes.

"Stop lying." It was the only thing he said.

I felt so sad, I didn't know why. I got shot I needed to man up and move on, but for some reason I just couldn't.

Then something happened that I wasn't expecting, he hug me.

"Mr. Vice President." I heard my voice crack i was confused because I was pretty sure I wasn't going through puberty again.

"Josh, why are you crying?" He spoke softly, but the words he just said made no sense.

I wasn't crying, I lifted my hand to my eyes and felt the feeling of water. Why was I cry, how long have I been crying, what the hell was going on.

"I don't know Sir, I'm sorry I shouldn't be moping around." I quickly said covering my face with my hands.

"Josh." he was still being calm. "After everything you've been through I'm surprised you're still in one piece.*Sigh* Josh let me take you to dinner and apologize for not visiting." He stood then removed my hands from my face.

I looked up at him to see him smiling he was determined and you never want to argue with him when he gets that way.

"Fine, but I'm not going to be able to walk. I can hardly stand." He helped me stand and walked me to my room so I could change.

He left me in the room it only took me a few minutes to change, I opened the door and he walk over to help me again.

He helped me to the car, to the restaurant and to the seats. I was feeling slightly helpless not being able to walk on my own but he didn't seem to mind. We sat down in a oddly big area for the two of us.

Then I noticed it was also oddly empty. The door then opened and The President walked in with CJ, Sam, Toby and Leo.

I tried to stand but the President waved my down. 

They sat down and did a blessing thanking God that we were still alive.

I was so tired, definitely from the lack of food and sleep. So I leaned my head on Sam's shoulder. He didn't say anything so I took that as he was okay with it.

"So Josh how are you feeling?" The President looked at me with a smile.

I don't want to lie to him but I really don't want him to keep me from work if I tell him the truth. So a middle ground wouldn't hurt.

"I'm good, still hurts a little but I'll be fine." I hoped that they're buying what I just said because I was screwed if not.

They didn't say anything thing else about it until after we ate.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry buddy, I really wish I could've saved you."

"What? What do you mean I'm right here?"

"Josh, you died don't you remember, you didn't make it. That bullet hit your lung and that artery, your lung collapsed and then you bled to death."

"No, no no no no no no I'm right here I'm not dead. Right?" I was panicking, I can't be dead this couldn't be death.

The President hug me and whispered sorry in my ear. I couldn't be dead this is a dream I need to wake up.

I started punching myself

"Wake up wake up wake up wake up!" I was screaming at this point. I wasn't waking up, I couldn't wake up

I couldn't breathe

I couldn't breathe  
I can't breathe

Was I dying

What the heck is going on.


	3. Ambulance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

"JOSH, JOSH LOOK AT ME!" I couldn't tell who's voice it was. I couldn't see, where am I?

"What...happened?" I felt so weak, so tired, I wanted to sleep.

"JOSH, STAY WITH ME BUD. Hey there we go just keep looking at me, the ambulance will be here soon." The voice was soothing but they wanted me to stay awake, rude. Wait ambulance what the heck happened.

"Where....a...am...I?" It hurt to breathe it hurt to move.

"Josh, you don't remember what happened? Well I came by to visit you when u weren't responding I had one of the guys open the door. That's when I found you laying on the floor unconscious." I still can't figure out who this guy was.

Why was he here? How did they get in? Why am I on the floor? What the heck is going on?

It took me I minute to realize the sirens were getting louder, they sounded so close yet so far. I heard screaming, I felt the ground shake with the boots hitting it. The world felt like it was in slow motion yet I knew it was normal speed.

"Sir, sir look am me, sir. Can you speak sir?" A Female spoke this time.

"Yes." Even I knew that response was breathy, I felt like I was drowning, I felt like I was dying.

"That's good sir, okay sir were going to have to lift you very gently. Everything's going to be okay just stay awake for me sir." She sounded so nice, if she needs me awake I will try my hardest.

"ok." I was trying to get my eyes to focus on her but they wouldn't. "I can't see good." They should probably know that.

"Ok thank you sir, just relaxing I'm sure it'll fix itself soon." I could feel them moving me. She was shouting medical nonsense but she still sounded nice while doing it.

"Mr. Vice President will you be going to the hospital to meet us?" The nice lady asked.

Vice President? Why was he here? How was he here?

"John?" I spoke softly, I was scared he didn't hear me.

"I'm here Josh don't worry, I won't make the same mistake twice. I'll meet you at the hospital and I will stay there until they kick me out." He chuckled as his own statement then said "I'll see you in a minute Josh."

I heard the doors close, I didn't even realize that we got to the ambulance but that really didn't matter to much. Was the Vice President really going to stay with me until he got kicked out or was that just a joke.

"Sir can I ask you a few questions? All you have to do is shake your head yes or no. okay" The nice lady was speaking again.

She asked me if I remember who I was, I did. What the date was, I knew the year but days and months had gotten fuzzy since the days seemed to drag into each other so I just nodded no. If I remember anything from today, and I said no again.

"Alright Sir your going to have to trust us. Just relax and whatever you do don't fall asleep, okay." She said making sure I understood her demand.

*POV switch to 3rd*

They quickly check his vitals and did a bunch a medical stuff.

*Now to VP's*

I quickly pulled out my phone and called the closest person to Josh I knew.

"Good evening Leo." I said.


	4. How did this happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

"Good evening Mr. Vice President is everything alright?" He sounded extremely concerned.

"No Leo, not really." I replied

"What happened John?" I wouldn't be surprised if he jumped on to the roof of the car right about now.

"Leo, Josh is currently in an ambulance headed back to the hospital. I don't know what happened but when I went to visit I found him unresponsive on his kitchen floor. He's awake and talking a little which is a good sign... Leo?"

"...John, does anyone else know?" He's voice was shaky.

"No, I thought it might be better if the news came from you." I replied.

"Thank you John, just do me a favor and keep him alive. I'll inform the team and be over there shortly." He said.

"I'll try." Was all I said before the call ended. I just hope Leo doesn't die by the President. It would be extremely bad if I became president and Bartlet got send to jail.

*Leo's POV*

I knocked on the President's office door and waited for a response. As soon as he said come in I closed the door and walked to the other side telling Charlie to make sure nobody came in for about ten minutes. Then I asked him to gather CJ, Sam, and Toby outside the door until we were ready for them. In which case he just nodded in response.

"Leo what are you doing?" The President called behind me sounded irritated.

"Mr. President you need to sit down." I demanded.

"Leo, what happened is everything alright. Did something happen to Abby, the kids or to the Vice President or Josh?" He said as he sat down on the couch, he probably know it was for the best.

"Sir, The Vice President just called me and told me Josh was in a ambulance heading to the hospital. I don't know his condition, I don't know what happened, but he is or was awake and talking. It could be possible his wound reopened. We don't know that for sure though." I said trying to study his face.

The President just looked at his hands, and didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Leo? How did this happen again. We just got back to normal a little, he was fine. Everything was good Leo." He was thinking, I could see the wheels in him mind turning.

"Sir we need to tell the others." I replied.

"Yeah, I know." He was silent again for a minute then he stood up. "Leo, what are we supposed to tell them. I promised then everything would be alright and it's not Leo it's not even close."

"I know Mr. President." I was going to say more but then Charlie opened the door to tell me they were outside. "Thank you Charlie, guys come in and sit down." I was trying to be calm.

"Is everything alright Leo?" CJ asked trying to scan our faces.

"No." Was all I said before the President then told them what I had told him.

"I know you guys aren't going to like this but Toby and CJ I need you here. Me and Same are going to the Hospital. The President will be here later tonight with CJ and Toby." They all started to complaining but I just ignored them and continued.

"There is no point in having all of us over there if he's asleep or in surgery. Look The President and CJ are needed here, Toby need to work on the speech in a few days. I know it's not fair but Sam also has been Josh's friend longest so if anyone deserves to go it's him." I replied.

"What about Donna." Sam said.

"She'll come with Toby and CJ. She needs to continue to take over. Actually if u could postpone telling her until right before you leave would be great, that way she can continue to be focused." I replied.

"Class dismissed." The President said after a few minutes of silence.

"Thank you Mr. President." Everyone replied.

"Hey Sam." I called after the man.

"Yeah?" He said turning around.

"Meet me outside in ten." I said turning back to my office to grab my stuff.

*3rd*

CJ and Toby went back to their offices with the intent of having a moment to process the news they had just received but they did work in the White House. CJ was interrupted by Danny Concannon walking into her room.

While Toby was interrupted by Sam apologizing over and over about Leo choosing him. Then he asked what he needed to work on. Toby just handed him a rough draft of the speech and told him to fix it up and give it to him later. He nodded and left to his office to quickly grab his stuff.

Leo and Sam met up outside like they said they would. They were silent the whole ride to the hospital and only spoke when they saw the Vice President talking to a man outside.

*CJ's POV*

"What do you want Danny?" I was already getting irritated.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me." He replied with a cheeky smile.

"I'm not in the mood." I quickly replied. "Please just leave."

"CJ what's wrong, what happened?" He walked to my desk and sat on it on the spot in front of me.

"Nothing Danny." I said

"Nothing, or Nothing you can talk about." He asked.

"Danny I would tell you if I knew it wouldn't be in the paper tomorrow. The last thing we want is for this to get out and make the situation a hundred times worse." I was rambling we both knew it.

"CJ I'm going to talk to you off the record for once." He got up and closed the door. "Now tell me what happened." He looked determined.

"Josh's back in the hospital." I said barely above a whisper.

"Wait what, I thought he was fine, when the heck did this happen." Danny was confused and he started to pace back and forth.

"Danny?" I asked.

"Yeah sorry, I'm just not sure I understand. Wasn't he fine?" He asked.

"Yeah, at least we thought he was. We were just getting back to normal and now we could loose him again." I spoke softly.

I sat there in my chair with my eyes closed. Then I felt someone wrap their arms around me.

I opened my eyes."Danny?".

"Sorry." He started to unwrap but I stopped him. "CJ?".

"Maybe we could move to the couch and just lay down for awhile." I said.

He unwrapped me and got up grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my chair. He then said down on the couch like normal and I laid down with my head on his lap while he played with my hair trying to relax me.


	5. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

*Josh's POV*

I can't keep myself awake, I'm trying I really am but it hurts so much. I can't help it, I start to close my eyes.

"Sir, I need you to keep your eyes open." It was the nice lady again. I tried but I couldn't, it was like I lost the ability to move at all.

"Sir!" She was loud for a moment. Then i heard shouting then nothing. I couldn't keep myself awake so I give into the darkness.

*3rd*

The woman was trying to get him to wake up. When the driver yelled that the hospital was in view. All they could really do was wait.

They quickly pulled up to the entrance. They swong the back doors open and quickly grabbed the gurney and pushed it inside when they were directed where to go and were taking over by doctors on the way.

(More medical shouting)

The sirens were loud as the Vice President Motorcade drove up to the Hospital. He was hoping that they weren't going to make a big deal about it but they did. He tried his best to convince them to keep the people who still had emergencies here so not move them. It didn't really work.

Sam and Leo rolled in about twenty minutes later.

"John?" Leo asked.  
"Leo." He turned around.  
"How's he doing John?" He's asleep and they're running some test. Since nobody knows what happened they have to start from scratch." He replied sitting on the ground at an spot were he was sure if the Secret Service would yell at him he knew they were just doing it to bother him.

"Why aren't you inside Mr. Vice President?" Sam asked.

"Because Sam I need fresh air. The last thing I want is to be cooped up inside waiting. So being out here in the fresh air is better." He answered.

Sam looked at Leo then he sat farther down from the VP, you could still see him but he wasn't close to them at all. Then Leo sat somewhat next to the VP.

"What's he working on?" The VP asked looking at the papers in Sam's lap.

"Some speech the President is supposed to give. Toby gave it to him to work on while we waited." He answered.

"Where is CJ and Toby?" He asked.

"I asked them to stay, they'll be here with the President later."*silence* "How did this happen John?"

"I don't know Leo."

The wait wasn't a very long one compared to last time. It was only three hours. The nurse came outside to tell them. They followed her back, she told them he was still asleep but to be quiet but when he wakes up someone needs to get her.   
0  
They nodded and she left.

The VP took a seat on Josh's left side but didn't move it close to the bed, he kept his distance like he was afraid he might bite.

Sam walked over to the right side of the bed and grabbed his hand. Leo did the same with his other hand.

*Time skip to about 2 hours later also Josh's POV*

"Sam can you stop drooling on my hand?" I said weakly with a half smile.

"Josh!" He smiles as he wiped his mouth off, then my hand. "Sorry bud I don't even remember falling asleep. So how long have you been awake?" He asked.

"A few minutes, Leo went to get a nurse, after he asked me a million questions. I was debating if I wanted to wake you up but the drooling was annoying so I decided to go ahead and do it." I smiled at Sam's blushing.

"You were watching me sleep?" Sam asked.

"Well weren't you doing that too before you fell asleep." I stated.

"Shut up, aren't you supposed to be hurt and dying again because if not you should probably leave before that medical bill forces you to get an after school job." He replied.

"Now you shut up." Was all I got to say before Leo walked in with the Nurse.

Leo asked Sam to wait outside.

"How are you feeling?" She asked. I looked around the room and it was just the three of us.

"Like crap." I answered.

"Sir do you know why you feel like that?" She asked

"Because I got shot not too long ago." I stated.

"Well that has part to do with it but that's not what I'm talking about." She said.

"Josh." Leo was looking at me like he was going to kill me.

"Then would you like to inform me?" I asked.

"Sir you've lost thirty pounds since you left us which I wouldn't be too concerned about considering what happened. Then we found something." She started walking towards my legs and pulled the cover up just enough to show the freshly red scars.

Shit

"Do you remember now." Leo said.

"Leo..." I didn't know what else to say what could I say. He was going to fire me he had to. Those were the rules.

"Sir are you willing to eat or we will have to feed you with a tube?" She asked while grabbing a something to clean the cuts and a wrap to put over them. "This'll hurt a little."

I just nodded I couldn't say anything not yet. I just want to be alone. For once alone sounded good.

"Josh." Leo said.

"Can I be alone for a minute?" I asked.

"No." The nurse said. "The last thing we want is for you to be alone."

"I didn't just attempt suicide stop acting like I did!" Raising your voice isn't going to help your case you idiot. *Sigh*.

"Josh." Leo said again.

"Can you actually say anything other than my name Leo? I told you I shouldn't be here i should be at work. I don't know why you keep blowing things out of proportion! I'm fine!"

You are nothing but a fucking idiot. Did you really expect that to work. Who are you trying to convince because your not convincing anyone expectally us.

They don't care about you. They want to make sure your not a liability to the President. They just want to make sure they don't have to go look for someone to replace you because we all know that takes so much work. Or maybe the reason you still have a job is so that Leo doesn't have to lie to your dead daddy about taking care of you.

I closed my eyes, was I losing it. I was hearing voices, maybe they were right. Calm down Joshua calm down. I felt like I was drowning again. The machine next to me was getting loud and I could feel the nurse put her hand on my chest.

"Sir I need you to calm down. It's a panic attack Sir, just take deep breaths and everything will be fine soon." She tried to help me breathe right but it wasn't working which just made me more upset.

"Josh!" I heard someone shout then a felt a hand in mine. I opened my eyes to see Sam looking scared.

"Hey Sam." I half smiled. I felt his hand reach up and stroke my face. What the heck was he doing. Then I noticed my cheeks felt wet, I was crying.

I was crying in front of my boss, a stranger, and my best friend.

"Sam, I'm fine."

"No Josh, you are far from fine.

I felt a sudden sharp pain in my chest. I hurt to move, it hurt to breathe. The machine make a extremely loud voice. I let my grip loosen on Sam's hand.

The nurse was yelling, Sam was dragged out by Leo. I felt dizzy, I felt sick. I felt a few more hands on me and I felt tired. I felt darkness.


	6. I need time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

"Josh?"  
"mmmh"  
"Josh look at me."  
"..."  
"Josh I'm not going away until you look at me."

Only then did I open my eyes to see the one man I really didn't want to see.

"Hi Josh." He said.

"Hi, Mr. President."

"Josh, Leo told me and all I want to say about it right now is that I'm not firing you." He grabbed my hand. "Josh you need to rest, and for now on someone is going to stay with you no matter what."

"Yes, Mr. President."

"Leo will be back with Sam Toby, CJ, and John soon."

"What about Donna?"

"She's at your place getting some stuff for you."

"Getting stuff? How long am I supposed to be here?"

"Josh I've asked them to put you on a 48 hour suicide watch."

"Sir!" Told you he hates you. "Okay."

"Is there anyone in particular you want to stay with you so your not alone?"

"If Donna and Sam could take turns that would be nice." Then I quickly added. "But If they don't have time or want to don't force them."

"They'll be more then fine with it Josh. Also Zoey and Charlie even said they'll try to stop by."

He then pushed the hair of my head back and kissed my forehead."Stop trying to die on me Josh, I won't let you."

"I know Sir." Was all I said before Leo walked through the door with the rest right behind.

"Hey sleeping beauty." CJ said.

Toby just walked over to the wall and leaned on it then proceeded to stare at me.

Then Sam ran in, practically jumping on me and claiming his territory.

"Hey guys." I said.

"Josh, don't ever scare me like that again." Sam said in the most demanding voice he had.

"Well I wasn't planning on it the first time and I'm not planning on it again." I stated.

I watched as CJ sat down next to Leo. Then I watched the President sit down too. Then I finally saw him.

"John."

"Hey Josh." The man said walking in the room and over to my free side where Sam wasn't.

He grabbed my hand and whispered sorry.

"Sir, I'm glad to see you. I'm glad to see all of you but I have one question."

"What is that Josh?" Toby finally spoke.

"If all of you are in here who's running the country?" I asked looking around.

"The country is asleep." CJ replied.

"CJ that's a lie and you know it. This country doesn't know the definition of sleep." I replied.

"Well heck Josh we thought you'd be happy to see us all here, for you." Sam said. 

"I already said I was, I was just explaining the problem with this picture."

"The country is on hold and we'll get back to it tomorrow. "Toby said.

"Thanks guys." I was starting to feel something I hadn't felt in a long time. Love.

I leaned back and tried to get comfortable, while still holding Sam's and John's hand.

It was peaceful and sweet. I could get used to this. I think I honestly could get better, with a little time.

I felt my eyes close and his time I truly welcomed darkness.

*SpongeBob's A few hours later*

I woke up to Sam one again laying on my hand and Donna holding the other. Everyone else left which wasn't surprising.

"Hey Josh."

"Hey Donna."

"Everyone left a little after you went to sleep. Well everyone except your boyfriend."

"Donna!"

"Sorry it was too good to pass up."

*Glare*

"I said sorry."

"Why is he still here?" I was looking at Sam trying my best to ignore the drooling.

"He refused to leave, even when Leo ordered him to." Donna replied.

"Huh really. That a really stupid idea but I guess it worked."

"Yeah it was but thankfully the President allowed me to stay. Though I'm sure Leo's going to yell at me when I get back." Sam said as he lifted his head up then once again started cleaning the drool. "Also sorry again."

"It's fine Sam." Then something dawned on me. I didn't even know what day it was.

"Josh, you okay?" Donna said looking like she was ready to go jump a nurse.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine just thinking." After a few seconds I asked. "How long have I been here?"

"A day and a half. Before you woke up you were asleep for about five hours." Sam replied.

"Oh, okay."

"Josh, are you alright?" Donna said again.

"I will be eventually, I'm just thankful for you guys being here. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"That's so sweet and he's not even drugged up on pain medicine." Sam said.

"Wait I'm not, shit, now they know that I like them, quick pretend to be asleep." I whispered trying not to laugh to much while saying it.

I looked at the two, Sam was also trying not to laugh and Donna just looked unamused. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Quick hand me that stick I think he might be dead." Donna handed Sam his pencil and he slightly started poking me with the eraser.

"I'm not dead just sleeping." I quickly replied.

"Sleeping with your eyes open. Witch Craft I yell, Witch Craft. He is a wizard that has come to kill us all." Sam laughed.

"Boys play time is over." Donna said.

"We were having fun." Sam almost pouted.

"I know but the nurse will be here soon to check on you so I need you to save your energy Josh."

"Alright Donna." I replied.

We sat there in silence enjoying just the pure company of each other for a few minutes before the nurse came in.

She asked them to leave then checked a few things and left.

I waited for them to come back in but neither did. I sat up the best I could but all I did was make myself dizzy. I quickly closed my eyes trying not to be sick.

"Hey Josh, how you feeling?" A young female was whispering at me, I knew her. I quickly open my eyes.

"Zoey?" I probably looked like an idiot but why would she been here.

"Yes I'm really here Josh, I promise you aren't seeing things." Where was Charlie and almost like she read my mind she added. "I asked Charlie to wait outside for a bit. Josh he feels guilty for what happened, and I keep telling him it isn't his fault but he doesn't listen."

"It isn't his fault, he didn't shoot me." I stated.

"But it is my fault." Charlie said practically busting through the door.

"Charlie!" Zoey yelled.

"Sorry Zoey but you don't understand those guys were shooting at me. They didn't target the President or Josh or anyone in the crowed, they targeted me. Therefore it is my fault for them getting hurt." Charlie stated.

"Charlie, I don't blame you and neither does the President what happened was not your fault. In this job that could happen any where any time and for any reason." I said making sure he truly understood me.

"Yes Sir." He responded while sitting down. Zoey sat next to him. We continued to talk for a while. Then Sam and Donna decided to join us.

"Josh they said that you can go after tomorrow." Donna said.

"Oh and Leo said that if you continue to do good then he'll start letting you work from home in a few weeks." Charlie added.

"Finally I can do something other then watch TV and do stupid coloring books." I replied with a chuckle.


	7. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

*time skip to a few weeks.*

"Josh, Toby wants you to look at these papers, I insisted that you didn't but he wouldn't listen." Donna said walking into the kitchen where I was.

"Just set it on the counter I'll read it when I get a chance." I replied.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm making me a sandwich." I replied.

"You are supposed to be resting. Also have you seen Sam he was supposed to be at work today?" She asked.

I walked to my room and opened the door to show the grown man asleep in my bed.

"Oh my god. Did you guys you know, do it?"

"No, no, Donna we were just talking and he fell asleep." I rolled my eyes then went back to the kitchen.

"Why didn't you wake him up?" She asked.

"He looked so peaceful and besides he needs the sleep." I said sitting down at the counter looking at the papers she brought me.

Then adding. "Toby wants me to read all of this?"

"Yeah well I guess I'll be going back now. Bye Josh." She waved before she left.

I got up taking the papers and my food back to my room. I sat down on my side and put the food on the side table and laid back so I could comfortably read the papers.

When I finally finished I realized that I was being watched.

"Morning Sam, or should I say afternoon." I said.

"Josh why am I in your bed?" Sam asked while blushing.

"We didn't do anything, we just talked." I replied.

"Good." Sam said while snuggling his head under my arm.

"Sam!" I was quickly loosing my cool.

"Shh. I'm trying to sleep." He whispered.

We were silent and we went back to sleep.

*Time skip to a few weeks later. Also 3rd POV*

It's been three and a half months since the shooting and a week since he started working again.

Donna was still checking on him every few seconds.

It drove him insane some days but others he was extremely thankful.

CJ was keeping him prepared in case the Press wanted to talk to him.

Which he was thankful for.

Toby continued to give him weird looks.

Which he mostly ignored.

Charlie and Zoey still kept an eye on him. They even took him out to dinner.

He was really hoping they'd get married. They were such a cute couple.

John visited and called him often. They would talked about anything and everything.

Which made him feel important.

Abby would visit Josh once a week to make sure the wounds were healing right.

At first he hated it but then he was grateful.

The President would keep an eye on him. Making sure he wasn't overworking himself. Sometimes he'd even invite him over for a game of chess.

He was happy.

Leo was making sure he was taking his meds and getting enough sleep. Every day since he got out of the hospital him and Leo talked sometimes for a minute others for almost an hour.

He was happy to have someone care so much about him.

And lastly Sam. He had dedicated his time to making Josh better both mentally and physically. Sam was Josh's best friend and he would do anything for him.

It had been simple to see that something changed between Sam and Josh. Nobody knew what changed they just knew it was something.

He loved him.

This is where the story ends. Josh is slowly but surely getting better with the help of the family he has helped build. Thing will be hard for him again in the future but then once again he will get better.


	8. Final Notes ~Optional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3 WARNINGS 
> 
> POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING

Josh's story is not the only one of it's kind.

Every day, 47 children and teens are shot in murders, assaults, suicides and attempts, unintentional shootings, and police intervention.

Every day, 7 children and teens die from gun violence:

4 are murdered  
3 die from suicide

Every day, 40 children and teens are shot and survive:

31 injured in an attack

1 survives a suicide attempt

8 are shot unintentionally

Every day, 318 people in America are shot in murders, assaults, suicides and attempts, unintentional shootings, and police intervention.

Every day, 96 people die from gun violence: 

34 are murdered

59 die from suicide

1 killed unintentionally

1 killed by legal intervention

1 died but intent unknown

Every day, 222 people are shot and survive:

164 injured in an attack

10 survive a suicide attempt

45 shot unintentionally

3 are shot in a legal intervention

This is only counting the amount of people shot every day. Not counting the millions of other violent ways to die.

It is estimated 7.8 percent of Americans will experience PTSD at some point in their lives.

Women 10.4%

Men 5%

Woman are twice as likely as men to develop it but it is possible.

About 3.6 percent of U.S. adults aged 18 to 54 (5.2 million people) have PTSD during the course of a given year.

This number only rises due to the careless ways we treat guns.

This fic is not pushing my views on gun control. But this fic is to inform people of the very real fact that PTSD is real.

You may not have gotten shot, maybe it was abuse or some other form of violence or trauma inflicted upon you.

This is a warning.

This is a message.

If you are feeling depressed or alone. Search for help, if u think you might have PTSD asked for help.

Please do not wait.

If y'all ever need to talk I'm always here.

https://g.co/kgs/jHdniZ

For those who don't know what it is. ^

**Author's Note:**

> Love y'all.


End file.
